The parent and teenager relationship can be complex and confusing. They are angry and upset one moment and happy and loving the next. A teenager is transforming and creating their own identity and parents should recognize the roles in the relationship are shifting. Up until the point of when your child starts high school, you have been the “manager,” in their lives; scheduling doctor appointments, checking their homework, and planning activities.
All of a sudden you’ve been fired! But, what happened?!?
Your teen has decided the parent as a manager is no longer useful and focuses on becoming independent. If the parent accepts this and can manage their anxiety about the teen separating, they should consider the role of an advisor, or consultant. As a consultant you offer advice about decisions when asked, and make sure they really want it. Most times your teen will talk to you because they are looking for support and encouragement.
This is a significant shift in the parent –teen relationship, and if the parent doesn’t recognize the shift in roles, it can cause a lot of challenges. In the long run, the parent becoming a consultant is better for the parent-teen relationship.
Tip #1 of 10 from "10 Tips Every Parent with Teenagers Should Know!"
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